Monday, November 22, 2010

Throwing Out The Safety Net in Love ♥

Dmytry in Russian (as he is Russian and speaks Russian, this wasn't random.)

In case this small fact has slipped past you, we are INSANELY in love. Seriously. We make people gag, roll eyes, or get teary eyed (depending on their romantic inclinations.)

So, let’s just focus on the INSANE for a moment. We did not take this slow. We did not spend years getting to know each other. We did not meet each other’s families and pets and past love interests.

K: Wait, why would we ever need to meet each other’s past love interests?

D: I don’t know. Maybe some people do just so they can get a sense of why it ended, you know, from the other person’s perspective.

K: Hmm…I don’t think I really want to be in the same room with any other love interest of yours.

D: Babe, you are the ONLY love interest I’ve EVER had. My heart has never belonged to, or wanted, anyone but you.

K: Awwww…well that makes the insanity of my choice today a little less insane.

D: No, it’s still insane, but awesome and amazing and I absolutely love you.

So yes. Insane. We met on Twitter. We became writing partners. We fell in love. We are moving in together in a few weeks. All of this happened at lightning speed under circumstances that have left many baffled and befuddled. (And some even angry.)

And today was no exception to the Insanity Clause in our relationship.

What Kimberly Did

My Vampire-Diaries-Hot bro and sis
Let me just start by saying that I vowed I would NEVER get a guy’s name tattooed on my body. I was married for over 8 years and never once did I even consider it. I’ve dated other guys, been in long-term relationships, and NOPE, never felt the need to brand myself with their name. Not even once.

When my brother and sister fell in love and got each other’s names inked on them, I thought they were crazy. Why? Why would you even do that? (Ok, side note to explain the bro/sis thing. I was raised with my half-bro and we have the same mom. I met my half-sis, with whom I share a bio dad, almost two years ago. When she and my bro met, they fell in love. They are NOT related in any way, except now they are married, so I guess they are related. LOL)

Yes, I know, my family is crazy and we do love in crazy ways. I’m in love with a man I met through a tweet who is almost half my age. Love is nuts!

But anyways, I couldn’t understand the compulsion to do this. Don’t get me wrong, I love tattoos. I have several of them. My first was the tragedy/comedy mask. I also have a Chinese character meaning “dangerous” on my ankle, a small rose, a Celtic knot that my sis and I got, an infinity symbol inside my right wrist and a crescent moon with three shooting stars to represent my daughters.

So yeah, maybe if I loved someone enough I could see myself getting a symbol to represent them. You know, something that could suddenly mean something else should the relationship go south.

I’ve always had a backup plan in love. While I leap heart first, I also hold back enough to change course if needed. (If that doesn’t sound too contradictory.) 

The Plan B if Plan A fails.

I love him MORE than this
Getting someone’s name tattooed on you does not allow for this. Sure there are ways to get it off, I guess, but still, all in all it’s pretty permanent.

So why did I go straight from work to a tattoo shop across the street and have Dmytry’s name engraved on my body for all time?

This is an excellent question. First of all, I love him. But in fairness to my past, I have also loved others. I have even been married and had children with another man. For me, this tattoo is that one line I never crossed for anyone else, except him.

It’s a symbol. A symbol of my total love and devotion to him. It represents the ways in which he is different from all the other men I have been with. The ways in which my love for him is different from any other man I have loved. It’s a symbol of commitment more powerful than marriage or rings or promises.

My love for Dmytry is now written in ink and blood on my body forever. 

What better way for a writer with ink running through her veins to express her love?

And then the question, why now? Why not wait until he’s here and can go with me. (The underlying question being, why not wait until he’s here just in case he doesn’t come?)

Because. Because I jump heart first into life and love. Because I don’t always make rational choices in matters of the heart. Because while following my heart has led to pain, it has also led me to the most amazing human being I’ve ever known. (That’s Dmytry by the way, in case I was too vague or something.)

And because Dmytry is leaving everything he knows to be with me. He is ostracizing himself from friends and family who think he’s gone mad. He is walking away from his country. His home. His life. His peer group. All to come here and spend his life with me as my partner and father to my children.

He is doing this because he loves me THAT much. He is doing this without a Plan B.

And so, this is my leap. I don’t need a Plan B either. I’m giving my love, and my body, without any backup plan if this goes south. Without any way of changing stories should he not be on that plane. Because I love him THAT much. And I know without a doubt, he will be on that plane. 

there he is, making all those hearts with his thoughts of me

this is what pierced her skin to get my name

What Dmytry Thought

Kimberly got a tattoo today.

An awesome tattoo. A sexy tattoo.

What was it?

My name. In bold Russian letters.
(Oh, and there was a star underneath it that looked better than I imagined.) But my name. It was there. On the inside of her ankle. Ink permanently infused into her skin.

And trust me. That is greatest symbol of love you'll ever find. When you see your name on your partner's body, your heart will melt.

Mine did.

In fact, it's still melting.

And my hands ache to touch Kimberly's skin. My mind works to contemplate her love.

I'm still not done thinking about it. I'll never be done. Because her love is infinite.

Everyday she surprises me. Everyday she looks for ways to show unending love.

This tattoo comes pretty close. And I wonder what she'll do next.

But really, every minute she spends with me is a sign of her love. And trust me, I love her just as much. I don't have her name on my body yet but...

Honey. Thank you for this symbol of our love.

Thank you for this undying memory.

As this tattoo lasts forever, so does my love for you.

*****Would you ever get your partner's name tattooed on your body? Why or why not?


  1. I think what she did was wonderful and romantic, but I would never do it, lol. I'm...too practical and conservative...and I completely understand throwing your heart into a relationship and holding back just enough in case things go bad. That's every relationship I've had.

    Actually it's so bad I even do it to my family. I'll never forget when my boyfriend turned to me one night and said "You're family doesn't know you. They think they do, but they really don't."

    While he was correct, he was also wrong. There are parts of me my family knows and understands that he doesn't. And while I'd like to think I'm done searching b/c we really do have a great relationship, it would be nice to find a guy I'd be willing to get a tattoo for, or even leave my country and family for.

    I love you guys, even if some of your posts make me gag ;p Wow, this post revealing. I'm gonna retreat back to my cocoon now, lol.

  2. Awww, thanks for your comment and support. And yeah, I felt the same way you do, with everyone one I've been with until Dmytry.

    That doesn't mean this BF isn't the One for you, we are all different.

    But for me, I knew True Love could only be real when I was willing to let go of the backup plan, cut away the safety net, and dive off the cliff holding his hand.

    Together, we fly. <3

  3. I'm away. Not by thoughts of how stupid or reckless or insane this all is, but by thoughts of how much I *want* to believe in you two. Seriously, if this doesn't work, I think your fans will hunt you down and beat you both over your heads until you fix it. LOL! *hugs to you both*

    P.S. The tattoo looks great!

  4. I like it a lot and respect your loving gesture!

    I'm not sure I'd put anyone's name, but I would put a symbol representing them, or what they mean to me. My current tattoos represent facets of my personality. And Steve does have a huge impact on my personality. Our special word is Kismet, and we have both talked about adding this to our tattoo collections.

    Great post, thanks for sharing guys! ~AngieKeenan

  5. I love your story!
    I dont have a tatoo of my hubby, but i am feeling like a bad wife now that i dont! I dont think its crazy or reckless, What is life if we dont live it, embrace it? Right?
    Everybody's body is their own blank canvass to tell their story, and Dmytry seems to be a big part of yours.

    Your story sounds like the story in all of the romance books we read, and all of the romantic movies we all watch!
    I hope it ends in happily ever after......

    Thanks for sharing, I love a good love story!
    P.S tatoo is great!


  6. Jami, Just reading that line "if ..." made us both sick. So, yeah, I don't think any beatings will be needed! :)

    Angie: You two are soo cute. Love the Kismet!

    Kerrianne: haha don't feel like a bad wife. I know lots of awesome couples who are totally destined and in love who don't do the tat thing. It's just, this was mine. A lot of it had to do with crossing a line and giving him something I'd never given anyone else before! There are many ways to do that. ;)And love the love story thing. Maybe we can beat the Bella and Edward fan club with a real life love that conquers all :)

    Thanks all for your comments and reading. And in case anyone is wondering about morning after regrets. NONE! LOVE IT! but it still hurts lol

  7. For our tenth anniversary, regardless if he does it or not, I am getting something for my husband. It won't be his name but something that is still unique to him. He's helping me design it. I've got 2 years to save up for it and then I'm going to get it.

    I wish you both well and think this is awesome. Good luck and I wish you both a long and happy life together.

  8. Kimberly,

    About the "if". Exactly. :) Going into this with a "do everything to make *sure* this works" attitude is exactly what it should be. Just constantly look for ways to spoil, acknowledge, and validate the other, and you'll be fine.

  9. You've only got one heart and one lifetime in which to follow it. I think it's wonderful you've both got the guts to go for it, and I'm sorry for the lack of support that you might have wished for, but you've got plenty of it from other sources. Count me in. Much love to you both!

  10. Annikka~ That sounds amazing. And thank you sooo much for your support ;)

    Jami~ yes, there are no "ifs" That was one point of the tat. To show that there are no "ifs" This is it! I would never have done this for anyone before. EVER. Never thought I would EVER do it. But for him...ANYTHING! This is the strongest declaration of love I know how to make.

    Lisette~Thank you dear. you are so supportive and so kind! <3

    Love you all! Thank you all for the love, support, friendship and for reading.

  11. I too met my other half on Twitter and I don't think I'd get his name tattooed anywhere but that's just because I like pictures as tattoos (but I'm a writer - go figure). It's a very brave move but if it's what felt right to do, then it was the right thing you could have done.

  12. Icy Sedgwick; That is AWESOME! Love these stories of people meeting on Twitter. There are a lot of us apparently! LOL Who knew Twitter would be so powerful for bringing together friends and soul mates? ;)